How To Stay Positive And Happy

How To Stay Positive And Happy – “I don’t know! I’m not happy!” I said as I sobbed into my husband’s broad chest.

Even now, I remember the moment clearly because it was a wake-up call for me. I thought if anyone needed to learn how to be happy and positive all the time, it was me.

How To Stay Positive And Happy

There I was, sitting on our worn tan sofa in our living room. It was Saturday and I had been unhappy all day. That seemed to be the case all the time lately.

Don’t Be Negative

I felt mad at my husband, and that started the whole discussion. And I was frustrated because he couldn’t seem to do enough to make me happy.

I wanted the secrets to a happy life, but I wanted them to plop right in my lap! Now! I needed to learn how to always be happy and positive, and if that wasn’t possible, then at least find contentment.

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My husband was in the room making me happy. We had all the things we needed to be happy and I knew it. I also knew I was throwing things at him that weren’t really his fault.

Quotes On Why It Is Important To Stay Positive

Perhaps “beginning” is a bit of a wrong word to describe what I was about to embark on.

You see, I had just finished reading a book called “The Four Doors” by Richard Paul Evans. In it, he talked about living your life’s purpose. That was the real reason I was crying. I felt like my life had no purpose and it was blending into the same thing as the daily routine.

Have you ever been there? Embarked on your own personal quest to uncover the secrets of a happy life?

I would like to share with you what I discovered, and share some of my best tips on how to always be happy and positive from my book, “The Pearl Perspective: How Changing Your Perspective Can Change Your Life.”

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Before we delve into the tips on how to always be happy and positive, let’s define what happiness is in life. Sometimes we, as adults, overcomplicate things. I think the definition of happiness is one of them. Happiness to me is living a satisfied, contented life where moments of joy are common.

It means making the choice to see the bright side of situations, looking for lessons in hard times, focusing on taking action to fix the things you can, and trusting that the rest will work itself out.

Although not the same thing, happiness and contentment are both pieces to the puzzle of living a happy, contented life.

For example, I might not be HAPPY if I had to work late, but at the same time, I would be content if I knew that the work was furthering my life’s purpose. You may not find me at my desk with a big smile on my face, relaxed and laughing. You would probably find me at my desk with an intense look of concentration and focus.

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Understanding that contentment is an element of happiness is the key that can unlock how to always be happy in life. Learning how to be positive no matter what is another key, but today we’re going to focus mostly on the happiness part.

All of the following tips are from my book, The Pearl Perspective: How Changing Your Perspective Can Change Your Life. They teach you how to not only find fulfillment in your life right now, but also how to be happy.

My first mistake in the opening example was expecting someone else to make me happy. If you want to learn how to be happy and positive, no one else can do it for you.

My husband is amazing, but he’s just a man. No other person, no matter how special they are to you, can always make you happy. I had to take responsibility for my life and my choices. Our choices define our lives.

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In order to find your happiness, the first thing you must do is take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings. You cannot control other people’s thoughts, feelings or reactions. You can only control your own. If I wanted to be happy, then I had to start taking some personal steps.

The first step for me was to get my inner critic under control. Are you familiar with the inner critic?

That voice in your head that whispers lies to us and says things like “you’re not good enough.” and “you can’t do that.”

We can go from feeling happy and positive to feeling lower than the belly of a snake in a wagon rut in a few minutes if we start to listen to our inner critic and believe it.

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Those whispers that our inner critic tells us have another name – “automatic negative thoughts” or ANTs. Just like the insects they sound like, ANTs have a queen who drives them. Her name is Uncertainty. Yes, those ANTs appear because of our own insecurities.

Do you know what I do when I see a little bug ant in my house? If it’s just a single, I press it. You can press your own ANTs too. They go *splat* quite easily when exposed to the truth.

A big part of learning how to always be happy and positive is learning to fight negative thoughts. You won’t be happy if those ANTs are always dragging you down.

Those ANTs that our inner critic whispers hold us back from doing what we really want to do. They are the basis for limiting beliefs that we believe to be true. If you’re going to live a happy life with purpose, you’re going to have to stretch your comfort zone, which also means overcoming those limiting beliefs.

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The most common way to do this is with affirmations. Affirmations are statements we want to be true that directly conflict with a limiting belief. They are a “new program” that our subconscious mind runs.

The best affirmations are a positive statement that starts with “I am” followed by an emotion and wrapped up with the specific thing you want to be true. For example, if you have a goal to lose weight and your ideal weight is 128 pounds. You could come up with an affirmation that says “I feel energetic and great at 128!”

Mindfulness has become quite the buzzword recently in the field of personal development/personal growth. I had never heard of it until I started blogging.

Sometimes I would do something I was supposed to enjoy. I would go out with the family on a day trip or take the kids to the park but I wouldn’t enjoy it. Why? Because I spent all the time with my thoughts a million miles away.

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Maybe I’ve been worrying about something, planning something out, thinking about being somewhere else entirely, or obsessing over something that hurt my feelings. I not only ruined the experience for myself but often for the whole family because they would worry about why Mum is not happy.

If your mind is elsewhere, how many memories of the event are you going to walk away with? Not much. You don’t know what happened because you weren’t paying attention to what was right in front of you!

Live in the moment. Immerse yourself completely in the experience. Forget the grocery list, forget your to-do list for next week. Focus on who you are with and what is happening right now. Children are masters at this. When they play they are completely immersed in the experience. They don’t worry about next week, tomorrow, or even what will happen in the next hour. They lose themselves in the experience. Soak it up.

Stop worrying about trying to take the perfect family swimming photo. Put the camera down and hop in with them! One of the best gifts you can give your loved ones is the gift of your full and complete presence.

Ways To Stay Happy And Positive Through A Difficult Pregnancy

Have you ever seen a Chinese finger trap? It is a small toy, usually a novelty, which is nothing more than a woven tube. You put a finger in each side of it easily, but if you try to quickly pull both fingers out at the same time, you’re hooked! The harder you pull, the tighter the weave becomes! You can’t go out! Worrying is like that Chinese finger trap – the more you pull, pull, and struggle, the tighter it binds you. You feel trapped and helpless as anxiety sucks away all your hard work learning how to always be happy and positive.

The truth is – worrying is a habit. When you worry, it’s a lot like the child who convinces himself that there’s a monster under the bed. The feelings of being scared are real, but the monster under the bed is fiction. Anxiety is based on fiction, with emotions that are often overwhelmed in relation to the real situation. It is not constructive. Anxiety is a more realistic cousin of anxiety.

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