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How To Get More Confident

How To Get More Confident

As parents, we want our teens to feel confident about who they are. We cross our fingers that the encouragement and support we have given them up to this point is enough to build strong self-esteem.

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As teenagers find their place in the world, many struggle with situations that challenge beliefs about themselves that they’ve clung to for years.

Thankfully, this doesn’t signal the end of your influence! Follow the 15 practical and highly effective tips below to help your teen grow into a strong, confident adult with healthy self-esteem.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our free Your Words Matter kit. With these 10 popular parenting guides, you’ll know exactly how to talk to your kids so they develop confidence, inner motivation, and can-do.

Make sure your teen can be sure that your love isn’t dependent on their grades, performance, friend group, college, or any other factor — including their choices or behavior.

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When we associate love with performance, we lose the essence of unconditional love – that it is freely given because our teenagers are enough just the way they are.

This doesn’t mean you and your teen can’t make mistakes, have bad days, or argue. And, it certainly doesn’t mean you ignore abuse. It’s just a reminder that the overall message your teen should receive is: “I love you no matter what. I’m committed to loving you through the ups and downs.”

Many teens are stuck in a “fixed mindset” about who they are or what they can or can’t do and are often unsure of how to move forward.

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Bring what you’re learning about growth mindset into your family conversations. Talk about the brain, use words like neuroplasticity, and make observations about areas in which you’ve seen your teen grow.

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Even if your teen seems to reject it outright, sprinkle these messages into your conversations, reminding them that their abilities are not fixed, innate, and flexible, but that there is always room for growth and improvement. .

Mistakes and failures can crush fragile self-esteem and destroy a child’s confidence. Your voice is important in these situations. When you criticize, panic, or gloss over a failure, you’re reinforcing a fixed mindset, essentially sending the message that this bump in the road is a sign that there’s no hope for improvement in the future. Is.

The Big Life Journal – Teen Edition includes activities and advice on accepting mistakes and using failures to your advantage. When young people view failures as learning experiences, they can overcome obstacles in their path.

When talking about your teen’s awards, accolades, and accomplishments, it’s easy to go overboard. Unfortunately, these things can tie into their self-esteem, causing them to feel that they are only valuable if they achieve them.

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On the other hand, if they fall short or fail, they are not valuable. Instead, celebrate your teen’s achievements, milestones, and growth by emphasizing their hard work, effort, and perseverance.

Focusing on the qualities that got them to that point will help them make the connection between their effort and the result.

Effective praise can build resilience, confidence, and self-direction. Check out our ultimate guide to praising children for additional tips and positive phrases.

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Don’t forget to download our free Your Words Matter kit with 10 helpful guides for parents and tips to use when talking to your children.

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Adolescence is a time of great brain growth, but it can also highlight areas where your teen struggles — physically, academically, socially, or emotionally — more than when they were younger.

This new struggle can lead to feelings of negative self-worth. When you identify an area of ​​concern or experience a challenge, encourage your teen to see it as an opportunity to grow, learn, and expand their interests and abilities.

Find ways to build on things your teen is already excited about and find options for them to use those situations to practice or sharpen new skills.

“One of the remarkable things I’ve learned from my research is that you don’t always need confidence in a growth mindset,” says Carol Dweck.

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Your teen can still try something they’re not good at or start something new, even if they don’t feel very confident at first. If they commit to something wholeheartedly, they adopt a growth mindset and can build confidence along the way. (This is also true for parents who are learning to relate to their teenagers!)

As teens go through the ups and downs of new situations and often emotional feelings, it helps to know that these challenges are normal.

Building self-esteem and confidence often means taking bold stands and making decisions that affect peer groups or social status.

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Remind your child that they are not a “bad person” for moving on from a toxic friendship or choosing an activity over a boyfriend/girlfriend. Growing up and maturing can be difficult, but that doesn’t mean your teen is doing anything wrong.

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Confident, clear and persuasive communication does not come easily to everyone. Many young people do not understand the difference between aggressive, passive and aggressive communication.

Discuss how subtleties like tone of voice can make or break a conversation. Identify how body language and non-verbal cues can send your message.

Encourage your teen to practice in front of a mirror so they can begin to recognize the subtleties of assertive communication. Standing tall, leaning back, and speaking clearly can make your teen feel better, especially if they aren’t feeling very confident about approaching a difficult situation.

Create a safe space for your teen to work through difficult situations. Give them the freedom to talk freely about challenges, peer conflicts, and gripes about “unfair” teachers and overwhelming homework assignments.

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Then, explore ways they can confidently handle these situations, address others in a way that is respectful and maintains their autonomy.

For teens who struggle to communicate clearly or are challenged in certain social situations, use your home safety to explore options. Role-play possible interactions using a variety of responses, voice tones, volume and non-verbal cues.

A growth mindset requires kindness and patience with ourselves as we grow and learn. Contrary to popular messages in social media and the influence of their peer group, your teen doesn’t need outside feedback to prove personal worth.

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If you notice that your teen is stuck in a negative or fixed mindset about their worth, encourage them to embrace self-compassion.

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Introduce mindfulness apps or activities, create positive mantras or list affirmations where they will appear on a regular basis. When your teen is struggling, encourage them to use the same words and tone of voice that they would use if a close friend was struggling.

Activities such as creating your own mantra, creating affirmations, filling out an interest map, and designing a vision board are all included in the Big Life Journal – Tenth Edition. These are great ways for teens to connect with themselves.

Young people who are involved in various activities, sports teams, volunteer opportunities and academic activities have a higher sense of self-esteem. They don’t get crushed by a setback in one area because they have other things that boost their self-esteem.

An [adolescent] who has multiple sources of self-esteem other than romantic activity is an [adolescent] who is in a position to have a healthy romantic life at the appropriate time. -Lisa Demore, Author 12. Give less advice.

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It’s not easy to sit back and watch as your child struggles to learn or has to deal with the consequences of an impulsive decision. It’s normal to want to share your wisdom or do what you can to pave the way for your teen.

However, learning to think through challenges, brainstorm options, and problem-solve well can boost your teen’s confidence.

Instead of solving all of your teen’s problems, involve them in the process. Be a cheerleader instead of a director. Listen as they explore where things went wrong and then support your teen’s plan to move forward in a positive direction.

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Parents face challenges and setbacks in our daily lives. We can use these moments to show our teens that we are human and need help too! Be sure to discuss your challenges with your children. Let them see you make mistakes.

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Discuss the situation with them. Maybe ask them for advice or see how they approach your problem. Not only does this build rapport, it also shows your teen that you’re not perfect and that you’re learning and growing.

Build strong relationships with your teens and build their self-esteem by resisting the urge to turn everything into a “teachable moment” or a long lecture.

Instead, focus on listening to your teen.

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