How To Deal With Emotionally Immature People

How To Deal With Emotionally Immature People – Let’s start with emotionally immature parents. Your parents were emotionally immature because THEIR PARENTS were emotionally immature. Emotional maturity is passed down through family lines. If we are raised by people who know how to have healthy boundaries, self-regulate, have functional, healthy relationships, express themselves, and share space and love most of the time, we have a start. We will probably learn how to do these things too. We learn them in an internal, bodily way. We hear that conflict is resolved in a healthy way, and we experience how interconnected relationships look and feel.

When we don’t have this role model, there are opportunities to learn from teachers, future colleagues, friends, and family. But it is more difficult. Learning more is involved because you haven’t been up close and personal with it. Let’s say you grew up with a mother who slammed doors and was passive-aggressive during conflict as a grown woman. Then you’re also likely to slam doors and be passive-aggressive (failing to communicate effectively when angry) as an adult.

How To Deal With Emotionally Immature People

The other response to emotionally immature parents is PARENTING. This is where the child acts as a parental figure for the family or adult children. This is common when a parent is physically or mentally unwell or has unprocessed trauma.

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As adults, these children often show signs of “people-pleasing” and may have depression and anxiety, as well as eating disorders (Jones and Wells, 1996). This page may contain affiliate links, which means we receive a small commission. of what you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn on qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before purchasing online.

Have you ever wondered why some people are able to navigate their emotional spectrum smoothly, while others are often filled with regret, guilt, or shame?

Of course, many factors can explain why some people handle their emotions well, from personality and temperament to parenting style and self-control.

But there is one psychological construct that shows how well we cope with unexpected (and unpleasant) events that cause emotional discomfort and throw us off course.

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It’s called “emotional maturity,” and unlike your personality or temperament, it’s something you can develop over time and with sustained effort.

The only way to succeed in a largely uncontrollable and unpredictable world is to be mature enough to understand the importance of adaptation and to see every emotional reaction as an opportunity to learn something valuable about yourself.

So, in this article, we will talk about the importance of emotional maturity and present 10 signs that you possess this quality.

Emotional maturity is the process by which you learn to successfully navigate your entire emotional spectrum by taking responsibility for how you feel about yourself, others, and the world around you.

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In my opinion, emotional maturity is one of the key ingredients to a happy and fulfilled life. This is largely due to the fact that emotionally mature individuals can develop healthy and authentic relationships, which is a key condition for lasting happiness.

Furthermore, emotional maturity includes a certain degree of mental flexibility. How you interpret the random setbacks and misfortunes that everyone encounters in life matters a lot. Your perception can amplify or diminish the emotional impact such events can have on your overall sense of happiness and well-being.

For emotionally mature individuals, a failed business or failed relationship is part of the journey, not the end of the world. No one can stay on a winning streak forever, so it’s important to deal with setbacks with patience and self-compassion.

But perhaps we could better understand emotional maturity by looking at the opposite end of the spectrum.

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Not taking responsibility for your feelings and actions is a guaranteed way to remain emotionally immature for the rest of your life.

Come to think of it, most of us hate it when we realize we’ve done something wrong and take responsibility (at least in part) for the unpleasant outcome of our actions. Or when someone mentions that we did something inappropriate.

But we learn to deal with uncomfortable emotions and adjust our behavior as adults do. They listen, learn and adapt.

As a psychologist, I can understand why it is more convenient to blame others for your unhappiness and unhappiness. Taking the pressure off yourself and putting it on someone else’s shoulders creates momentary relief.

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Unfortunately, the less responsibility you take for your emotions, the less control you have over them.

As a result, you tend to be highly reactive to people and circumstances that cause emotional distress. This often leads to angry outbursts and heated debates about who is right and who is wrong.

One of the fundamental truths of life is that we don’t always have control over how things will turn out.

Another fundamental truth is that reality is not always governed by a set of rules. There is no invisible force that “settles the score” when life doesn’t treat you the way you think it should.

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And yet, you insist that life should treat you fairly, and when it doesn’t, you find it hard to live with disappointment and frustration.

Somehow, emotionally immature people can’t get over the fact that reality is rarely what they imagine it to be, and that it’s up to them to adapt to their environment, not the other way around.

At the opposite extreme, emotionally mature individuals learn to make the best of what they have instead of getting frustrated and upset when things don’t go as planned.

It is difficult for them to control their reactions, given how little attention they pay to their emotional reactions.

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But trying to reach emotional maturity without taking the time to understand how emotions work is like becoming a surgeon without a basic understanding of the human body.

In other words, you seek to become aware of your emotional reactions and take the time to educate yourself about how emotions work.

Like it or not, emotions are (and always will be) a part of your daily life, and no amount of rational thinking can justify your reluctance to befriend your emotions.

I’m talking about situations where something or someone has upset you, and instead of sitting with your feelings, you resort to all kinds of evasive behavior.

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From binge watching and binge eating to shopping, mindless social media scrolling and drug abuse, modern society offers a wide range of distractions.

Objectively speaking, some emotions are harder to tolerate than others. And this applies to every person on the planet.

Just because you don’t like feeling a certain way doesn’t mean it’s wise to avoid that feeling.

But I get it. It’s easier to avoid than to face, and I’m sure there are many reasons why you keep telling yourself that you can’t handle certain emotions.

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Perhaps you believe that unpleasant emotions are “bad” and should be avoided at all costs. Only positive vibes, right!!

No matter how intense or unbearable it may feel, every emotional experience is a valuable opportunity to build resilience and emotional maturity.

There are so many factors to consider, not to mention that each of us has our own version of a happy life.

At first glance, it would be intuitive to assume that emotional maturity contributes to our overall sense of happiness and well-being.

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However, I took on the challenge of sifting through recent studies to see if there was any evidence behind this assumption.

Let’s start with a recent study that examined the relationship between emotional maturity and overall well-being. [1] For adolescents, emotional maturity leads to increased well-being.

Another study of adolescents found that emotional intelligence and emotional regulation were strong predictors of happiness and optimism. [2]

In other words, teens who are mature enough to deal with their feelings without drama, avoidance, substance abuse, or other unhealthy coping strategies live happier lives.

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The fact that they are well aware of their emotions and do not wallow in self-pity or regret allows them to develop a “glass half full” mentality.

Although the study was conducted on teenagers, I see no reason why the same components (emotional intelligence and emotional regulation) could not work for adults.

Given that happiness is a deeply subjective construct, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to achieving it. Current evidence suggests that as you mature (emotionally and psychologically), your perception of happiness changes. [3]

Chances are, the way you envision happiness ten years from now will be different from the way you see it now.

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And that’s perfectly fine; that’s what any grown man would do. The ability to adjust your perspective, not just on happiness, but on everything, based on how your life unfolds, keeps you grounded in reality.

When faced with adversity and unexpected change, instead of wallowing in regret, self-pity, and disappointment, you make an effort to change your perspective and look for happiness elsewhere.

In short, one conclusion we can draw from the current research is that emotional maturity is a multifaceted construct and process that can significantly contribute to a happy and fulfilled life.

Some will appreciate and love you unconditionally, and some will stay long enough to use you.

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