How To Become Secure In Yourself – An attachment style describes how people relate to others based on how secure they feel. Secure attachment is characterized by feelings of trust and security in relationships.

Secure attachment refers to a bond where individuals feel safe, supported, and connected, enabling them to express emotions freely, receive comfort from their partner, and explore their environment with confidence. do so knowing they have a reliable base to fall back on.

How To Become Secure In Yourself

How To Become Secure In Yourself

Children with a secure attachment view an internal model of the world as a safe place and models others as kind and trustworthy.

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In addition, securely attached children demonstrate balanced behavioral strategies, expressing their need for both closeness and autonomy. Autonomy is particularly important because it facilitates interaction with the environment.

For a child to develop a secure attachment, they need to be raised in an environment where they feel safe and seen by their caregivers.

If a caregiver is not responsive to a child’s needs, the child may not be able to form a secure and stable attachment.

If a child is raised in a nurturing and supportive environment where caregivers are responsive to the child’s needs, a secure bond is formed.

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However, if a child perceives that their needs are not being met, the child is not able to form a secure and stable bond with their caregivers.

Attachment figures can be seen as a ‘secure base’ that children use to explore their social world. The more confident a child is in the availability of their attachment figure in times of stress, the more likely they will interact with others and their environment.

Caregivers who provide a secure base allow children to be autonomous, exploratory and experimental. When around their caregiver, the child should be reassured that they will not be harmed. They need to know that they will be fed, kept warm, and protected.

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The caregiver is the child’s barrier against loss, so letting them know they are safe and loved is important to making them feel safe.

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The child should be given the opportunity to develop independence while still having the reassurance of their caregiver that they are close by if they need to check in with them.

A baby’s signal for attention, such as crying, is their way of telling the caregiver that they need to have a need met. It is important that the caregiver reads these signals correctly and responds consistently.

If a caregiver is consistently responsive enough to a child’s needs, it lets the child know that when they need something, they can signal for it.

If the caregiver responds appropriately, most of the time, the child should understand that their world is reliable and that they have some control over it.

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Interactional synchrony focuses on the coordination of nonverbal behaviors during social interactions, while emotional attunement is about understanding and responding empathetically to another person’s emotions. 2.1 Interactional Synchrony

Interactional synchrony is a form of rhythmic interaction between infant and caregiver that involves mutual focus, reciprocity, and mirroring of emotion or behavior. Babies coordinate their actions with caregivers in a kind of conversation.

From birth, babies move into a rhythm when interacting with an adult, almost as if they are taking turns. Infants and caregivers are able to anticipate how each other will behave and elicit a specific response from the other.

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Interactional synchrony is most likely to develop if the caregiver is fully present in the child’s situation, encourages play when the child is alert and attentive, and when an overstimulated or tired child Gets impatient and sends the message “Chill.” I just need a break from all this excitement. “

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Interactional synchrony may facilitate emotional attunement, as coordinated nonverbal behaviors can help individuals better understand and relate to each other’s emotional states.

A mother (or caregiver) must be good at noticing small and quick changes in a child’s emotions. He (or she) then has to show the child through their facial expressions, tone of voice and body language that they understand those feelings and share the experience with the child.

When things go smoothly, conformity helps the child feel truly understood, accepted, and supported by their mother or caregiver.

But, no one can be perfect all the time, so sometimes misunderstandings or mistakes can happen (called “mis-formations” or “relationship breakdowns”).

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These bumps in the road are common, and can even be good for the relationship between child and caregiver if the caregiver is able to address the problem appropriately.

In fact, it’s believed that in order to develop a strong bond, caregivers only need to achieve it in about a third of the time, which is comforting to know!

According to Daniel Stemm (2018, p. 139.), professor of psychiatry at Cornell University Medical Center, a caregiver’s emotional (‘attitude’) response follows three steps:

How To Become Secure In Yourself

Many parent-child relationships have strong affection but lack emotional compatibility. In these maladaptive relationships, children may feel loved but are not truly understood or appreciated for their true selves.

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Research by Leanne Murray (1985) has shown that even warm responses to infants are not regulated until they are properly timed with their cues.

In 1975, Edward Tronick and his team presented the “Still Face Experiment” at a child development research conference.

They showed that when an infant interacts with its mother who is unresponsive and has no facial expression for three minutes, the infant quickly becomes depressed and wary.

When the mother “fails to respond appropriately,” the child becomes increasingly alert and alert. He repeatedly tries to bring the interaction back into its normal interactional pattern. When these efforts fail, the infant withdraws [and] turns its face and body away from its mother, with a frustrated facial expression (p. 452).

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A child’s perception of being emotionally understood and connected to others is important. However, some stressful situations can make caregivers emotionally distant, even if physically present. This situation of being physically close but emotionally separated is called “intimate separation”.

An intimate separation can be as traumatic for a child as a physical separation. Examples include a parent breaking intense eye contact with a child or overstimulating a resting child. These interactions register on an unconscious physical level, even if the child is not aware of the emotional breakdown. Such experiences shape the child’s future personality and emotional development.

Research by Alan Shore (2001, 2008) suggests that this type of emotional separation can cause physical stress levels in a child that are comparable to physical separation.

How To Become Secure In Yourself

These early experiences of intimate separation can affect adult relationships, leading individuals to seek partners who repeat these unrelated dynamics, perpetuating a cycle of emotional turmoil into adulthood.

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If caregivers are there to help calm the child’s distress, they learn to see it as normal. As they grow older, they may use their caregiver’s actions as a model for managing their own distress.

Caregivers can appreciate their children by showing them joy and pride in who they are. Healthy self-esteem can develop as a child, which translates into later life.

Showing pride in a child early in life can make them realize that they are unconditionally valuable for what they achieve.

A child should be supported to explore their world in a way that makes them feel safe. Caregivers should aim to reassure the child that they believe in their abilities but stay close if something goes wrong.

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Try not to be bossy or constantly tell them what to do. Instead, offer gentle guidance if they get stuck and let them grow while watching from a safe distance.

In this way, the child should develop a sense of freedom to explore his world and develop his confidence in his skills.

Restricting a child from exploration, being overprotective, or keeping them in a box can lead to the development of an anxious attachment pattern. Children must learn to explore independently and feel safe doing so.

How To Become Secure In Yourself

Symbols in Adults John Bowlby argued that a sense of security as a child is important to their attachment style as an adult.

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Adult relationships are likely to reflect an early attachment style because the experiences a person has with their caregiver in childhood lead to anticipation of similar experiences in later relationships.

Securely attached adults have a positive working model of themselves and others and are therefore comfortable with both closeness and autonomy.

Such individuals typically demonstrate openness regarding sharing feelings and ideas with others and are comfortable depending on others for help while also being comfortable with others depending on them (Cassidy , 1994).

Specifically, many secure adults may, in fact, experience negative attachment-related events, yet they can evaluate people and events objectively and assign a positive value to relationships in general. are

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A secure partner feels confident that their partner is there for them. They can balance giving and receiving in a relationship.

Because they are securely attached, they experience less relationship anxiety, fear, or doubt and can focus on being there for their partner. They are interdependent and have a positive attitude towards their partner.

Secure attachment sounds like this… “I’m sorry I reacted this way but I feel attacked. Can we talk about what happened? I want to fix it” “I I’m sorry I hurt you. I wasn’t right. I want us both to be happy and I accept

How To Become Secure In Yourself

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